Happiness? What is that?
We all want to be happy, but how many of you know what happiness mean? On the other side, some of us tend to assume that you will only be…
We all want to be happy, but how many of you know what happiness mean? On the other side, some of us tend to assume that you will only be able to attain a happy life if you are “lucky” enough, or to define it when you have already experienced it. Sometimes we often think of happiness if something we have no control over. However, it is relatively easy to link the idea of happiness with the situation we’re in. We also might tell ourselves that “if things were different, I’d be the happiest version of myself.” — Well, no. On the other hand, happiness depends on your personality, mindset, habits you practice, and the way we live each day.
“Happiness is up to us. It is what you believe, what you perceive, and how you execute.”
Research has shown that just a small portion (10%) of our happiness depends on the situation the person is in. But, hmm, where is that 90% coming from?
Let’s dive in!
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What’s in it for me?
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There’s no shortage of how-to guides on making money and seeking fame and fortune, but these guides tend to leave out a crucial element: What to do when all that money and success still leaves you feeling empty and unfulfilled.
Can money buy happiness? Think and answer to yourself.
But, you might wonder how someone with endless amount of money could possibly feel unhappy with their life, but money is no harbinger of happiness. In fact, money, fame, adoration, awards and the newest cars, clothes, and gadgets can’t bring anything but a fleeting sense of happiness in guise of pleasure.
However, to find sustained and meaningful happiness, we must look beyond money and the shiny new toys it can buy. We must look within ourselves, and to the steps we can take to change our perspective on the world around us, and not to lose sight of the things that really make life worth living.
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What does happiness depend on?
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Imagine if someone asked you to define happiness, what would you say? Most of us assume we know what happiness is, but, if we stop and think about it, the concept becomes fuzzy.
One common misconception is that happiness depends on external factors, such as material goods or events. People tend to associate happiness with nouns, like cars, vacation, destinations and sexual partners, or moments in time that mark a personal or professional triumph.
But, what all these things have in common is that they only provide you with temporary moments of pleasure. As a result, people develop the impression that their happiness is tied to other people, or to whether or not a future event will occur.
This isn’t ideal, because, when your happiness is inextricably linked to external factors, you have no control over your happiness in the here and now.
For the millennia, people have lived under the misguided assumption that they can buy happiness, if only they had enough money. Yet, there are numerous studies that shows that wealthy people are just as miserable as anyone else.
So, once again, can money buy you happiness?
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Where can we find happiness?
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While life is an amazing gift, it’s far from being perfect. On any given day, we can be confronted with illness, heartbreak, and unexpected financial calamity or any number of anxiety-inducing events.
As a way to escape these difficult moments, we often resort to activities that take us out of the present. If you’re looking for happiness, this method of escape is actually a mistake, because happiness can only be found in the present.
In other words, when you mind isn’t focused on the present, logic dictates that you’re either ruminating on the past or fantasizing about the future. These are common places to be, since it’s easy to daydream about finding a perfect job, going on a perfect date or winning the lottery so you can pay off your loans. Other times, you might be caught up in the past, lingering over memories of better days or cringing over a regretful thing you wish you hadn’t said at the company picnic last weekend.
But, spending time in the past or the future may seem preferable, especially if there are ongoing problems in the here and now. But you can only find happiness in the present, because that is where the experience of life takes place.
Lastly, no matter how strongly you believe someone else is the key to your happiness, the fact is that no lover, friend, or child will ever be capable of providing you with the sustained, lasting happiness you seek. That kind of peace of mind can only be achieved by going inward and finding it within yourself.
Your happiness depends on YOU!
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Happy people have common traits
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Like money or material goods, pleasurable sensations are fleeting experiences that will never add up to a satisfying or lasting state of happiness. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with pleasure, or that we shouldn’t celebrate or enjoy it. But you must keep in mind that pleasure is a sensation, and therefore unstable; in the scales of life, it will always be balanced out by sensations of pain and discomfort.
Happiness, on the other hand, can be sustained and experienced separately from the changing circumstances of your life. In other words, happiness can be relatively stable, as long as you stay in the moment and keep your attention on the positive elements. That way, even if there are feelings of pain and discomfort, it is possible to remain content and happy in life.
Wondering how this is possible?
Easy! This kind of steady happiness can be attained by staying aware of your emotional state, and embracing the experience of life as it is happening. Let’s say you are feeling lonely. Instead immediately turning on the TV to distract yourself from this feeling, stay present and accept the loneliness as a perfectly natural feeling. If you relax and tune into yourself, you will find that the steadiness of happiness can exist alongside your temporary feeling of loneliness.
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Conclusion
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Your happiness depends on you. If you are depending on things materialistically or even from others, you will never find the happiness you are meant to find. It does not matter who that person is; Romantic partner, Friend, Family.
Take care. Stay safe. May you find happiness!
You are responsible for yourself, and your well-being.